One day years ago, I sat in the overstuffed chair in my family room, pondering a large painting that hung on the opposite wall. In the center of the painting stood an open gate.

I said aloud, “Lord, the gate is open. What is keeping me from going through?”

In answer, I heard one word: Invalidation.

My spirit leapt up, as if recognizing it was true. But my mind struggled. What did that mean? What does invalidation look like? How was it affecting me? How could I overcome it?

To find answers, I began a treasure hunt, searching through Scripture, online articles, dictionaries and thesaurus entries. As I searched, I found myself rewriting lyrics Carly Simon sang years ago. Simon said:

Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting

I sang:

Invalidation, Invalidation
Is shutting me out
Is keeping me waiting

Eager not to remain in that place, I shouted aloud on discovering The Message paraphrase of Psalm 37:5-6.

Open up before God, keep nothing back;
he’ll do whatever needs to be done:
He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon.

For months, I continued to hunt, seeking to understand what my Father was saying, about invalidation, and about his validation of his own.

For years, I’ve been seeking to live in the light of the truth he showed me.

Just so you know: The living part is a lot harder than the learning part. It requires facing into pain, grieving loss – and returning again and again to God’s springs of superabounding grace.

As I searched, I realized: Many, many have experienced invalidation, often without knowing what to call it. Many, many are pursuing validation, often without knowing that’s what we’re doing.

Invalidation occurs when individuals or groups who matter to you refuse to treat you with respect, to stamp you with approval, to affirm that your life has value and that your contributions count.

The biggest dangers, and the most debilitating results, come with internalizing the message that’s bombarding you from without.

I still remember the day I realized that. I was grieving the broken life of someone I loved, and suddenly I saw: The more she had counted herself invalid, the more she had become an invalid – mentally, emotionally, and physically too.

Get up!

John 5 tells of a man who lay, waiting, beside a pool called Bethesda. The man “had been an invalid for thirty-eight years” (v. 5). Near that pool stood a gate. The gate was open, but the man couldn’t walk through it.

Later, when Jesus healed a blind man, he made clear: Nothing that the man, or his parents, had done had caused his infirmity. Thus, we dare not assume that the man who was an invalid had been counted invalid.

Yet it’s important to know: The choices that people have made – especially the adults to whom we related growing up – and the beliefs and ways of coping that we have adopted as a result, can profoundly affect our well-being.

In particular, when people who matter to us persist in devaluing us, we may become paralyzed. And then, in desperation:

• We may position ourselves as close as possible to the place where we still long to find validation.
• We may stay there, watching for a miracle, afraid that if we do not keep constant vigil, we will miss it.

But that strategy offers only false hope and frustration. That strategy keeps us shut out and waiting, gambling our lives away on a slim chance at favor, doled out in a lottery sort of way.

And yet, how many times have I tried it? How many times has the Lord had to remind me what he showed me more than a decade ago?

When you’ve been laid low by invalidation, it’s time to pry your gaze away from the misplaced hope to which you’ve clung so hard, for so long.

Look away. And look up. For Jesus stands before you, offering a real miracle to you.

Jesus doesn’t just survey the crowd in general. He sees you. He knows how long you’ve been unable to move. He asks, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6). Literally, “Do you want to grow into wholeness?”

Ultimately, you’ll answer that question with your eyes, as well as your voice. If your gaze strays back to the Bethesda pool and stays there – if you insist on looking to anyone or anything for validation other than Christ – you allow them to count you INvalid too.

If you gaze into the Lord’s eyes and keep focusing there, you may at first try to tell him why validation seems hopeless for you, but your protests will soon die away.

He will not coax or cajole you. Though you lie helpless, he will not patronize you, and he will NOT roll you toward that pool.

Your Lord will speak with deep compassion that carries no taint of pity. Indeed, his compassion will sound strangely like a command.

In him, by him and through him, your validity is accomplished. It is done. Your job is to stand up and step into it – as he pours out his grace and power in you.

Be blessed!

Be richly blessed with full validation because I AM validates you.

God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ,
putting his Yes within us.
By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge —
a sure beginning
of what he is destined to complete.
(2 Cor. 1:21-22 MSG)

I AM constitutes you. He approves you. He authenticates you and authorizes you.

I AM confirms you. He justifies you. He ratifies you and signs off on you. He stamps you with approval at high noon.

I AM sets his seal on you. Receive the blessing of his validation.

God chose us in Christ to be holy and blameless in God’s presence.

God destined us to be his adopted children through Jesus Christ because of his love.

We have been ransomed through his Son’s blood, and we have forgiveness for our failures based on his overflowing grace.

We also have an inheritance in Christ. We were destined by the plan of God, who accomplishes everything according to his design.

AND

You were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit because you believed in Christ.
(Eph. 1:4, 5, 7, 11, 13 CEB)

Be richly blessed with full validation because in Christ, you are valid.

He knows you. He loves you. He calls to you:

O my dove, in the clefts of the rock
in the hiding places of the mountain crags
let me see your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
(Song 2:14 NET)

In HIM, you are accurate, attested, authentic and authoritative. In HIM, you are cogent, compelling, convincing and credible.

In HIM, you are irrefutable, kosher and just. You are lawful, legitimate and logical.

In HIM, you are official, original, persuasive, potent, proven and pure. You are solid, sound, stringent, strong and substantial.

In HIM, you are telling, tested, trustworthy and true. You are unadulterated, unanswerable and uncorrupted. You are well-founded and well-grounded.

You are genuine. You matter. You are precious in his sight.

“I will make you like my signet ring,
for I have chosen you,”
declares the Lord Almighty. (Haggai 2:23)

Do not pursue validation, dear one. Rise up, and walk in the design that your Creator and Redeemer has chosen to be you.

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Image by 👀 Mabel Amber, who will one day from Pixabay