I read widely, and God has taught me a lot, some of it from surprising sources.

So you’ll know: When I quote a person, or credit them for something I’ve learned or seen in a new light, it does not mean I agree with everything they teach. It means: I gained this insight from this person. Or: I appreciate the memorable way they said this.

When I quote or credit someone, it also doesn’t mean that I certify their character. It means: At the time of this writing, I didn’t know of any issues with the person’s character or behavior that would contradict, compromise or invalidate what they said.

Recently, readers have expressed concerns about two people I’ve referenced, in my blog or in one of my books. I appreciate those who’ve spoken up. Their concerns had to do with Bill Gothard and Arthur Burk.

Legitimate concerns

Bill Gothard. I attended a Gothard seminar as a young adult. My primary take-away? He framed the seven spiritual gifts listed in Romans 12:3-8 as “motivational gifts,” suggesting each person has one primary drive or bent.

I’ve had no experience with the oppressive religious culture Gothard created. Until recently, I didn’t even know that culture existed. But at the time I heard him teach, and for three decades afterward, I was enmeshed in another church culture that denigrates women. So no wonder I didn’t recognize those aspects of Gothard’s teachings as harmful.

In 2014, charges of sexual harassment were brought against Bill Gothard by several female employees and volunteers within the organization he used to head. The suit is no longer active, but the 18 plaintiffs still maintain the truth of their charges – and as of this writing, they are still under threat of legal retaliation by Gothard.

I referenced Bill Gothard in a book I wrote the year before the first sexual harassment charges were filed. I mentioned his teaching on the motivational gifts – and I even wrote his name into a chapter subhead. Worse, I did this in a book on women and the church. Obviously, I still had much to learn. (Still do.)

I had forgotten about the reference until it was brought to my attention by Flo Fromer-Wedding, a woman who has experienced abuse in a church greatly influenced by Gothard. She said, “I know of so many whose lives have been turned upside down and devastated by the influence of his distorted teachings.”

Obviously, I can no longer cite Gothard in good conscience. To my knowledge, I haven’t mentioned him since 2014. [2021: I’ve updated What About Women? and removed my naïve reference to him there.] If you see him mentioned in any other writings of mine, I apologize. If the reference is online, please let me know, so I can remove it.

To learn more about the major issues with Bill Gothard’s teachings and his treatment of women, from people whose lives have been deeply harmed by both, see the website, Recovering Grace.

Arthur Burk. I was introduced to Burk about 15 years ago through the book he co-authored with Sylvia Gunter, Blessing Your Spirit. The blessings in that book helped me in healing from abuse I had experienced inside the SBC structure. On again, off again, since then, I’ve explored more of what Burk has taught.

I know he’s controversial. But it appears, so am I. I’ve found some of his teachings very refreshing, very insightful. I’ve also encountered some teachings with which I strongly disagree. Arguing with him in my head on those points has helped me solidify what I do believe.

But in recent years, I’ve become uneasy about the general “I learn from God, you learn from me” tenor of Burk’s ministry. That attitude, in itself, hinders us from learning from God and from knowing when we’ve missed him. So I’ve quit referencing him. But as of now, I haven’t removed my earlier references to some of his teachings.

One reader who found a mention of Arthur Burk in a piece I wrote in 2013 contacted me to express deep concern about his approach to inner healing for people with DID (dissociative identity disorder). In her view, his teachings on that topic are not only not helpful, but can be very hurtful. I don’t have any expertise in that area and haven’t explored what he’s said about it. But having already sensed a general caution in my spirit, I’m passing along her concerns.

A true story – and another concern

When deciding whether to mention or quote someone, I also weigh another concern, a contrasting one.  Let me introduce it by telling one example from my own experience.

Some time ago, I appealed to a woman I had met online, asking for help to write an article related to abuse in the church. She’s an abuse advocate, and I was just beginning to speak up on the subject. She kindly agreed to read the original draft, and gave me some helpful pointers.

Then, randomly, she emailed me, scolding me for “liking” a tweet that quoted Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest. I’ve read Nouwen, and what I’ve sensed is that his words often breathe with God’s life.

After considering the woman’s comment, I told her I understood that she couldn’t quote Nouwen in good conscience, but that as best I could discern God’s will, I can. She reluctantly agreed that I could make my own decision before God on such matters, “to a point.”

I had already noticed that she could be dogmatic in her responses to others, that she allowed no room for discussion, complexity or paradox in her view of God. Yet she has written much of value in helping women recognize and overcome abuse.

When I published the post she had helped me write, she praised it – and asked permission to repost it on her blog. Then, when I wrote her back, to say yes and thank you, she backtracked: She had consulted with someone else in her church culture and had decided not to republish my post.

That hurt. A lot.

Any blogger has the right to decide what they will and will not put on their blog. But in exercising that right wisely, I don’t want to be callous.

And I don’t want to take false responsibility. I don’t want to deny my readers insights that I believe to be valuable and true, in a misguided effort to protect other adults from the possibility of clicking over to another website and stumbling upon a Christianity that doesn’t perfectly echo mine.

Read with discernment

I recognize that it is foolish to read indiscriminately. I don’t encourage anyone to do that.

I also believe it’s foolish to read or listen too narrowly. In fact, it’s dangerous to limit our influencers to those we believe hold all the same views that we do. For one thing, we’re deceiving ourselves if we think:

• that any two people believe exactly the same;
• that everything “we” believe is godly, and that “we” have the whole truth.

Refusing to listen to different views robs us of the opportunity to learn, to grow, to “sharpen” one another, to love one another. So it’s important and wise to humble ourselves to listen to others.

It’s also important and wise to seek discernment from God as we do.

It’s vital to let him show us – and yes, to do so through other people – when a source we may have thought trustworthy is not.

It’s also important to remember: God is unfathomable – and we know in part. It’s vital not to try to erase complexity, paradox and mystery from the faith. It’s vital not to limit the definition of Christian to “only those teachings that fit in our box.”

When we receive indiscriminately from people who have given us cause for concern, it’s dangerous. When we listen only to those that our church culture deems “safe,” it’s also dangerous.

Any way that we delegate “hearing God” to a certain person or group, expecting them to do it for us, we shirk our own responsibility to discern. That leaves us wide open to being led astray.

Please, whatever you’re reading – including Scripture – ask God the Spirit to lead you into all truth. Then listen, expecting him to do it. Trust him to show you what not to read or listen to, and how to grapple with what you do.

Seek to know his voice as if your life depended on it. Because it does.

And do let me know if you have legitimate concerns with someone I’ve quoted. I may need to know what you have to say.

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