The most unwanted assignment
Sitting in my car at that gas station on that winter afternoon, staring at Isaiah 58:1, I began to cry ... Oh. Lord. Not. This. Assignment.
Sitting in my car at that gas station on that winter afternoon, staring at Isaiah 58:1, I began to cry ... Oh. Lord. Not. This. Assignment.
When it comes to dealing with anything spirit, the church has a long history of ignoring, twisting, adding to and taking away from the truth that gives us rest.
I saw it for the first time in a meeting I called and led. No. Actually: I realized then what I had been seeing for years. It broke my heart. I’ve tried to tell the story twice before. Both times, I described what happened in that meeting, but did not include any backstory. Now it’s time to write the whole story. Bring honor to your name, holy Lord.
In the middle of that dark-valley time, I often found myself alone with God, crying aloud and writing passionately in my journal. During that time too, I came to identify with David, the shepherd-poet-warrior-king, in ways I had not before. For David was also ostracized by people he trusted. And he cried out in distress - and in faith.
Why, in midlife, did I suddenly find my boundaries battered and my adulthood denied? The answer hinged on the skewed view of womanhood in my church culture.
Our Lord is building his church. He told us what is key. “Love one another,” he said. When that is happening, all that embodies Christ’s love flows both ways.
Frustrated, exhausted, I realized: I would never count as an adult in my church system. Free at last, I’m embracing the adulthood God works in his own
What do you do when the Lord answers what you had not asked? This is where it began, my journey with God into his view of women and the church.
When the "threat alarm" goes off in an abusive church system, the response is orchestrated and brutal. But it's church: Appearances must be kept up. People loyal to the system confuse while pretending to clarify, cover-up while pretending to address, attack while seeming to answer, put-down while pretending to help.
Behind the scenes at Living Proof Live, I'd found a celebrity culture - not the "one anothering" of the church of the living God. So with all my heart, I cried out for change.