A decade ago, my world had grown very disorienting.

I was desperately trying to fathom the grievous things I had experienced in my church culture and continued to uncover.

I was desperately trying to fathom what was going on at home, for on the heels of that initial abuse, my then-husband had begun covertly sabotaging my relationships, my work, my life.

And also, I was desperately trying to fathom what was going on with my adversarial mother. We thought she had Alzheimer’s. But did she? Was she becoming confused and forgetful? Or, was she trying to appear confused and forgetful, when she knew what she was doing and who everyone was?

Exhausted and bewildered, I was researching dementia when I learned about a phenomenon that had nothing to do with my mother, yet intrigued me very much.

Sundowner’s syndrome: When people suffer from dementia, they may have a marked increase in symptoms as darkness falls. They may become more confused, more anxious, more agitated, more depressed.

And when encroaching night becomes problematic, the long nights of winter may be especially problematic.

Hmm, I thought. Darkness can increase disorientation. Darkness can increase anxiety and depression too.

I wondered, Might something similar be true spiritually? Might spiritual sundowner’s be a thing?

Ultimately, I decided yes. It’s a thing, and I’ve experienced it.

Spiritual sundowner’s: When people of faith live in a profoundly disorienting world, they may sometimes have clarity, confidence and courage in the daytime – that drains away in the night.

Spiritual sundowner’s can occur during literal, physical night. It can be especially pronounced during wintry, wilderness times that are long, dark and bleak. Even when we know the Lord Jesus, we may become confused, agitated and afraid. We may lose hope.

He has made me dwell in darkness

Studies have shown that sundowner’s symptoms recede within an hour of the return of daylight. Spiritual sundowner’s too can recede as another day dawns.

But what about those times when the night never seems to end, when a “dark night of the soul” overwhelms you, even in the light of day?

Honest venting

The prophet Jeremiah lived in a very disorienting world. He experienced very dark times. How did he handle all that?

If we’ve been taught that faith means saying only positive things and pretending everything is rosy when it’s not, we may think Jeremiah handled it badly.

You see, when everything in his world turned inside out and upside down, Jeremiah saw it and spoke up. When he himself was abused, Jeremiah spoke up. When the Lord did not respond as Jeremiah had hoped, Jeremiah spoke up. He complained. He vented. He questioned. He pleaded. Twice, he accused God of deceiving him. Twice, he regretted being born.

In Lamentations 3, Jeremiah said of the Lord:

He has driven me away and made me walk
in darkness rather than light;
Indeed, he has turned his hand against me
again and again, all day long.
He has besieged me and surrounded me
with bitterness and hardship.
He has made me dwell in darkness
like those long dead. (vv. 2-3, 5-6)

Jeremiah continued his complaint through the first 18 verses of Lamentations 3. And in the book that bears his name, he made six other personal complaints to the Lord.¹

Helpful reflecting

As Jeremiah went to God to express his confusion and his pain, the Lord encouraged, admonished and instructed him. Jeremiah received all of it. And ultimately, he learned to encourage himself in the Lord.

But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
(Lam. 3:21-23 ESV)²

This I call to mind

When spiritual sundowner’s strikes, it has helped me too to remind myself deep within:

You, Lord, you are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light. (2 Sam. 22:29)

If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night,” even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. (Ps. 139:11-12 NAS)

Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on their God. (Isa. 50:10)

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them. I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. (Isa. 42:16)

The people living in darkness have seen a great light. (Matt. 4:16)

The same God who said that light should shine out of darkness has given us light. (2 Cor. 4:6 GW)

It’s a truth that exists in Christ and in you: The darkness is fading, and the true light is already shining. (1 John 2:8 GW)

Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. (Isa. 60:1-2)

The Lord rises upon you

When you’re bewildered and exhausted because your world has grown dark and disorienting, that’s not shameful. It’s fitting. You are not “doing badly.” You are not failing God.

Please do not deny the darkness, or its effect on you. Do not try to fight it off. Instead, give God permission to uncover whatever is upending your world. Acknowledge that it is real and hard.

As you see what you are seeing and feel what you are feeling, summon your courage, and get gut-level honest with God. Humble yourself, and wait and watch for him to respond.

Oh dear one. Oh my soul:

When darkness overwhelms us, may we lean in to the one who lovingly, faithfully, walks there with us. When night lingers long, may we cling to the One who – every single day – ushers in a new dawn.

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This is an updated and expanded version of a post published October 10, 2012.

Image by Joe from Pixabay

* Learn about sundowner’s syndrome

* What we Learn through Jeremiah’s Complaints

See also

• God who has wronged me
• The purpose of the wilderness
• Waiting for hope
• When waiting is writhing
• Can we talk about shame?
• When I worry, God doesn’t shame me
• I will fear no evil: Resting in God’s very present help

Footnotes

1. See Jeremiah 11:19-20; 12:1-5; 15:10-21; 17:12-20; 18:18-23; 20:7-18. ↩︎
2. And there’s more. See Lamentations 3:24-33. ↩︎