Years ago, a professor asked me to teach one session of his college class. The topic? Women in ministry. I didn’t want to touch that subject and, until then, had successfully avoided it.

Ironically, at the time the professor approached me, I was serving in a paid, full-time ministry position. I worked with women in the churches and primarily related to women’s leaders. What I saw from that vantage point had caused a growing unrest in my spirit regarding the parameters for women that had been taught to me as “biblical.” At the same time, I saw the repercussions for publicly questioning these parameters.

One situation stands out. From the day I stepped into “full-time ministry,” I related to one woman whom I came to know as gracious and winsome, a person of integrity who loved God and genuinely cared for people.

Her name was Dr. Dellanna O’Brien. She was executive director of Woman’s Missionary Union, SBC, from 1989 to 1999. I knew her as Dellanna.

Once when we talked, her eyes filled with tears as she mentioned how badly she had been treated by other Christian leaders – “just because I’ve told little girls they can be anything God calls them to be.” It was the only time I ever saw her cry.

I marveled that she opened up to me that way. My male boss had risen up as a defender of the doctrine of limited permissions for women. This woman had spoken out to present a different view.

Considering my situation, she might have counted me a member of an opposing camp. She might have treated me with hostility or distrust. She might have worried that I’d report the “weakness” of her tears. Yet, she didn’t try to win me to her “side.” She didn’t give details. She didn’t express bitterness, but rather deep grief. Briefly, poignantly, she spoke to me as a friend, from her heart.

I left the encounter deeply moved and deeply concerned over the anguish etched into her face.

Shortly after that conversation, I learned she had had a stroke. My boss heard the news the same time as I. To my shock, he laughed. Hearing details of her condition, he showed no compassion – none. He was glad she was incapacitated – and made no attempt to hide his delight.

Even more disturbing, that incident was not atypical. Again and again, I watched what happened as people tried to enforce the male-female rules we’ve designated “biblical.” Again and again, I saw such attempts produce injustice and incongruity, dishonor and downright meanness. Again and again, I felt the jarring in my spirit that signaled the Holy Spirit’s grief. I became convinced that something was very amiss with our “scriptural” views on women and the kingdom.

Still, when asked to teach about women in ministry, I hesitated. I didn’t yet know what I did believe. I did not want to dishonor the Lord, or to get sidetracked from my “primary goals” by becoming embroiled in controversy over a “side issue.”

Now, I see how crucial, to my life and to God’s kingdom, is the issue I was trying to dodge. I see that I did dishonor the Lord by hesitating for so long to go where he led.

I also see that I hesitated out of fear. Every time the Holy Spirit nudged me, the spirit of intimidation threatened me. I feared speaking up, even to ask questions. I feared exposing myself to the kind of pummeling that had taken out my friend.

Ultimately, however, I feared God more. As soon as I expressed my willingness to examine what I’d been taught, the Holy Spirit urged me, “Don’t be afraid to look.”

Turning to Scripture, I cried, “Lord, open my eyes.”

In time, trusting the Spirit to speak, I explored the testimony of the entire New Testament. What I found surprised and delighted me. Scripture after Scripture showed a picture of the Body of Christ in which women participate fully and freely in every aspect of the kingdom, and men and women stand shoulder to shoulder, serving the Lord.

I also learned why many people who love the Word do not know that – why I did not see it for so long. The reasons stunned and appalled me. They include:

• Stunning gender bias on the part of Bible translators.
• A doctrine of “godly submission” that outlaws “loving one anothering.”
• A view of “biblical womanhood” that mirrors the Confederate Ideal.

I began writing e-columns and book chapters about what I was learning. In 2013, I collected them into an e-book titled, What About Women? Now, I’ve updated and revised that book. And I continue to learn.

I am so glad I listened when God said: Don’t be afraid to look.

For regardless what you may have heard to the contrary, the Spirit and the Word are saying – with one voice – to us all:

Be blessed to walk
in the FULL redemption
Jesus Christ has purchased for you
with his own blood.

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Adapted from chapter 9 of What About Women? A Spirit-to-spirit Exposé, © 2013, 2021. I added the sentences naming Dellanna O’Brien on Nov. 10, 2023. I’ve also told this story in the post, This “good Christian girl” is a woman now.

Image by Christer Andreasson from Pixabay

See also

• Truth, desperation, spirit, life
• Waylaid by God
• Adulthood and the church that rejects it
• This “good Christian girl” is a woman now
• Exploited in the church, I’m Leah no more
• Bucking the system: Shunning, submission and Jesus