Cliques are a fact of life in many high schools, and many workplaces. Cliques are a fact of life in many churches too.

Even a quick online search of “cliques and the church” brings up a slew of posts about the small, exclusive groups that form within individual congregations. Such cliques do much damage, to people, and to the name of Christ.

But might there be more that we haven’t explored? Might we find cliques, not only within a church, but also in the larger church picture? How would that look? What would it reveal?

In Scripture, the word we translate as church always refers to people – a community of people. Jesus spoke of his entire church as one community when he said, “I will build my church” (Matt. 16:18). Paul did the same when he wrote:

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (Eph. 5:25-27)

If we scan the current church landscape, we find lots of people, grouped by all manner of different affinities. These include:

• location;
• denomination or other affiliation;
• ministry interest;
• theological stance;
• justice cause;
• family loyalty;
• friendships;
• social strata;
• gender;
• race.

If we look more closely at the various groups, might we see anything that resembles high school cliques?

The quotes below describe how cliques look and act. Any place the authors used language specific to schools or the workplace, I’ve tweaked it slightly, to show how the same traits can also apply to the church.

Lord, open our eyes, so we may see.

How to know a clique when you see one

Cliques can be defined as circles of power whereby leaders rely on various mechanisms to attain, maintain, and influence followers, both by building them up and cutting them down. Leaders draw followers into their circles, “allowing them to bask in the glow of popularity and acceptance.” Leaders then subject followers to a position of dependence within the group. – Social Relations¹

Cliques are by their very nature, exclusive.² They function and maintain their position within the church landscape by allowing certain people to enter the circle while leaving others out of it. As a result, cliques have an innate tendency to turn toxic and make non-members feel alienated and ostracized. They can cause the church to stop functioning cohesively, giving way to bullying, harassment, and gossip. – Pack Mentality³

The structure

There are usually two types of people in a clique: 1) “the social gatekeeper” or “leader” who controls who gets in and who doesn’t, and 2) “the follower” who does whatever the leader tells them to do. – Group Mentality⁴

A distinguishing feature of cliques is that they tend to have a hierarchical structure that is dominated by one or more leaders. – Social Relations

Cliques often have complex structures. – Clique⁵

In many parts of the church landscape there is a hierarchy of cliques. – Group Mentality

The tactics

Cliques rely on the techniques of including and excluding individuals from that particular group.

The process of inclusion involves recruitment, which occurs when one is solicited by clique members to become a part of the group … A second method of gaining entry into a clique is through … application, whereby people actively seek entry.

The techniques utilized in the exclusion process allow clique members to enhance the status of the group while, at the same time, maintaining hierarchy inside and outside of the clique.

A defining feature of the exclusion process is the use of gossip, which clique members use to spread rumors about particular outsiders [or about members the leaders want to oust] … Engaging in gossip and the rejection and ridicule of outsiders solidifies the unity of the clique and displays the power that the clique has within the church landscape. – Social Relations

The leaders

Characteristics often associated to a clique leader are a pleasant appearance, charisma, skill in manipulation and monetary power. The leader has substantial influence and power over the clique, and is usually envied and looked upon as a role model by clique members … His or her actions are closely followed and imitated, even though they may not be of a positive nature.

In most cliques there is, at least to some degree, a power struggle for the top position. – Clique

The followers

A lot of what happens in cliques is a whole bunch of copying. The members either look very much alike to begin with or, if not, begin to transform into replicas. – Adult Cliques⁶

Once accepted into the clique, new members align with others in the group … Members often work hard to maintain and improve their position within the group. – Social Relations

Members themselves face a lot of pressure that they’ll be dropped from the group if they don’t follow all of the rules. – Group Mentality

Whether it’s pressure to get into the group or pressure to maintain a position … pressure to fit a mold, to be a puppet, or to be something you’re not. – Adult Cliques

If you’re a member of a clique, life can be stressful and you might always feel on guard. You never know if you can trust a fellow member … Rumors can fly and people can easily be “in” one day and “out” another. – Group Mentality

The outsiders

Leaders of cliques tend to treat outsiders badly and convince clique members to engage in similar behavior. – Social Relations

You might be excluded … because you may be [perceived to be] a threat to the leader. – Group Mentality

Those who are excluded may feel resentful, angry and hurt. Even people who don’t want to join are bullied and picked on for being different. – Group Mentality

Individuals that a leader dislikes may be classified as “outcast,” thus encouraging clique members to victimize the outcast, in order to continue to be part of the clique or to receive praise from the leader. – Clique

The [ultimate] outcast is a person who does not fit into any specific clique, and as such, at times faces physical and psychological aggression from clique members … It is not common for witnesses to defend an outcast, as most fear being rejected and potentially becoming an outcast themselves. – Clique

The mindset

Members can believe they are somehow “better” or “superior” to anyone who is not a member. – Group Mentality

“If you’re not part of our crew, then you’re somehow against it.”

It pits one group against another – it’s essentially micro-combat.

Cliques can incite hate. – Adult Cliques

Where cliques litter the church landscape

What happens when these mindsets and behaviors grip large segments of the church?

We preach Christ, and him fragmented

Grouped into our various cliques, we equate the Gospel with our group’s “distinctives.” We work to defend and promote our group and to vilify others (including other Christian groups similar to ours). We treat people not in our group, either as “prospects” that we recruit to join us – or as not like us, not suitable for us, maybe even hostile to us.

Such fragmentation is the opposite of what Jesus asked when he prayed for his church:

that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one – I in them and you in me – so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. (John 17:21-23)

Praying to the Father, Jesus also declared to us: The God who is himself Three-in-One has made the way to bring us into non-coerced, non-cookie-cutter unity in him.

We trust in the works of our hands

When the church is a conglomerate of cliques, that is not the church Jesus is building. Rather, it’s people who have identified with God, yet are trusting in the works of their hands.

In both the Old Testament and the New, that’s something that brings a strong rebuke from the Lord. It’s something he always links with, and counts as, idolatry.

I will declare my judgment against them for doing evil: for abandoning me, worshipping other gods, and trusting in the works of their hands. (Jer. 1:16 CEB)⁷

Tragically, we may trust in the works of our hands without knowing that’s what we’re doing.

In a post titled, Church Cliques, Chad Ressler testifies that he has personally experienced their “malignancy.” He attests, “They infect every aspect of the Church.”

Then, he says the most “cancerous effects” are that cliques keep people from joining, or attending, or remaining in, the cliquish church. Thus his post tells congregations: Cliques are disastrous for you because of their impact on your numbers.

Yet Ressler says – and probably believes – that his concern is for the people who are pushed out. He writes,

The marginalized and excluded [who leave your congregation] could fall into the hands of false teachers/doctrine, or worse yet be afflicted and oppressed by Satan … The devil prowls about like a lion seeking to devour someone. Who is easier to devour: a person surrounded and protected by others, or one left by themselves?

Oh my. How often do we do as this writer did? We may see something wrong. We may dare to say we see it. Yet even then, we may not see what we’re seeing or saying. Especially:

• We may not see, when what we’re seeking is to protect what we have built.
• We may not see, when what we’re terrified of falling into “out there” is happening in the very place we think we’re safe.
• We may not see people as people. Nor see the disastrous effects of toxic church on people. Nor see that being caught up in a cliquish system is as disastrous to a person as being shunned by one.
• We may not see the futility of trying to “clean up” an abusive church system that people have built.

In answer to Ressler’s question, I’d suggest: The easiest people to devour are those who believe they are surrounded and protected by others – when they’ve all been taught pack mentality by leaders who are wolves.

We idolize – and abuse – people

Church cliques teach us to bow before narcissistic leaders, to see them as perfect, to receive what they say as the voice of God. Such cliques convince us that unquestioning loyalty to the system and its leaders is in fact obeying God. They teach us to sacrifice everyone and everything in order to continue to belong.

And so, a lot of people who may want to follow Christ and who are not narcissistic abusers are lured into following leaders who appear godly, but are all about themselves. Such leaders know how to stand back, looking benign and benevolent, while they manipulate, or pressure, their flock into doing their dirty work for them.

Together, leaders and followers act abusively. They mistreat individuals and whole groups of people for whom Christ died, people and groups they count as “lesser” and/or a threat.

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (John 4:20-21)

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Eph. 5:1-2)

Fitted together into a dwelling place of God

Regardless where in the church landscape you may be, cliques are there, functioning in the ways described above. You may not see them, until you yourself are shunned or abused. And then you may be devastated and incredibly confused.

It’s tragically easy to miss evil in a system we’ve been taught is intrinsically good, a system where what opposes God is carefully concealed behind a façade of goodness and light.

It’s also tragically easy, in the church as we know it, to exit one clique, only to find yourself in another.

If you’ve been seeking to belong in all the wrong places, your job, should you decide to accept it, is to turn from that. Your hope and your joy is this: Your Lord has made the way.

His Spirit will lead you, and his grace will superabound in you, as you learn:

• To see – to give God permission to show you what is him and what is not, what is his church and what is not.
• To heal – to stay before the Lord, wrestling as needed, and to receive his healing touch time and again, as he pours his comfort, truth, wisdom and love into all the wounds inflicted on you by people who have confused trusting God with trusting in the works of their hands.
• To repent – to confess and turn from any ways you have agreed with the evils of cliquish systems.
• To follow Jesus himself – to know his voice, to cooperate as he renews your mind, to struggle through when obedience is hard, until you find in him the courage and strength to do it.

He will show you who you are in him, and how beautifully he has designed you to fit into the one Body of the one Lord.

He will take you on a rest-of-your-life journey in “being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.”⁸

Just be aware, dear one: Neither the journey, nor the church that Jesus is building, may look at all as you would have thought.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Eph. 3:20-21)

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Image by WorldInMyEyes from Pixabay

Sorting out what is toxic …

• Bullying in the church
• Code blue! Breathing crises in the church
• Shunning in the church
• Celebrity culture in the church
• Witchcraft in the church – Manipulate. Intimidate. Dominate.
• Checklists, idols and loving God
• The world in church clothing
• Beware the illusion of refuge: Abuse in the church

From what is precious, and truly God

• To the exiles scattered (by abuse in the church)
• Adulthood and the church that rejects it – How have we got it so backward?
• Loving one-anothering
• A promise of real belonging
• Humble your soul, release your spirit

Footnotes

1. Quotes labeled Social Relations are from “‘You’re not one of us:’ Understanding Cliques in Social Settings,” The Social Relations Collaborative, written by Makeela Wells, posted 11/18/2016; http://www.socialrelationslab.com/relating-results—a-blog/youre-not-one-of-us-understanding-cliques-in-social-settings. ↩︎
2. This exclusivity is based on the clique’s rules and preferences. Cliques in the church, however, may label their own rules and preferences as God’s will or God’s plan. ↩︎
3. Quote labeled Pack Mentality is from “Pack Mentality – Countering Clique Culture,” HRdownloads, posted 3/16/2017. So you know, here’s why this site advises workplaces to eliminate cliques: “Cliques often create division and feelings of isolation, which ultimately have a negative effect on the organization’s bottom line.” ↩︎
4. Quotes labeled Group Mentality are from “The Ugly Face of Cliques: Re-thinking the Group Mentality,” BodiMojo, by Mia Simonsen, posted 9/1/2014; http://www.bodimojo.com/Cliques. ↩︎
5. Quotes labeled Clique are from the post by that title on Psychology Wiki. ↩︎
6. Quotes labeled Adult Cliques are from “13 Things Worst Things about Adult Cliques,” by Jacklyn Janeksela, posted 6/9/2016. ↩︎
7. See also 2 Chronicles 34:25; Isaiah 2:8; Micah 5:13; Acts 7:41; Revelation 9:20. ↩︎
8. Ephesians 2:22. See an extended description of the church as one body, one household and one dwelling of our one Lord in Ephesians 2:11-22; 4:1-16. The latter passage, especially, has been used to teach unquestioning obedience to very controlling leaders and “apostolic” cliques, but if we blow away the manipulative smoke, we see that’s the opposite of what these scriptures teach and the opposite of what Christ intends. ↩︎