God took me into the heart of one abusive church system to show me things common to them all.

I had lived within that system, unseeing, most of my life. Then, during my seven, eight, nine years inside the Southern Baptist Convention structure, God began to open my eyes – and I didn’t turn away.

This post shows my last glimpse into the inner workings of the SBC.

Behind the scenes at Living Proof Live, I had found a celebrity culture – not the “loving one-anothering” of the church of the living God. I realized:

Celebrity culture in the church
is one type of abusive church system.

So with all my heart, I had cried out for change.

First, I sent a lengthy plea to LifeWay and to Beth Moore. Ten months later, I sent a second plea, to Thom Rainer and Beth Moore. I’ve included the full text of both letters in the post, Dear Beth Moore and LifeWay: My plea.

Now, I’m publishing the replies I received. And I’m inviting you to look closely at each – to see what’s illusion, and what’s actually true, and to see the tactics used to hide what’s true.

Seeing past the smoke and mirrors

When the “threat alarm” goes off inside an abusive church system, the response is orchestrated and brutal. But it’s church: Appearances must be kept up.  

So people loyal to the system work together to create a swirling fog. They confuse while pretending to clarify, cover up while pretending to address, attack while seeming to answer, put down while pretending to help.

Worst of all, they do it all in God’s name. In Scripture, that’s called profaning God’s name. It’s the opposite of hallowing God’s name. And the post, The forgotten prayer, tells why it matters so much.

Here’s how the ploy may look:

You’re the one being abused (or you see it happening). You appeal to people you think will help. In the resulting response, you’re supposed to see an appearance of godliness, uprightness and concern (even though it may feel very off). You’re not supposed to notice, much less point it out, when those responding:

• Ignore the real issues.
• Reframe the truth as “your misguided perceptions or feelings” (aka gaslighting).
• Rationalize, minimize and deny wrong.
• Refuse to take responsibility.
• Misdirect attention.
• Belittle you for speaking out (often by oblique criticism, but also by insincere praise).
• Silence you by any means it takes.

When the ploy works, even the person crying out for help may believe that:

• A few people are sincerely trying to help, but just fumbling the ball.
• Leaders who are busy serving God simply don’t know what’s going on.
• The ones orchestrating the purge aren’t involved at all.

Yet the Lord sees exactly who is doing what, and why. When we find ourselves neck-deep in an abusive system, he does not tell us, “Just go along to get along.” He says:

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness,
but rather expose them. (Eph. 5:11)

LifeWay reply to my Letter #1

(If you’ve experienced spiritual abuse, be aware that what follows may trigger you. Be alert to how you’re responding, and take care of yourself.)

In my first letter, I appealed to Beth Moore to affirm and honor other women leaders, specifically the women enlisted to coordinate her own events. I appealed to the LifeWay Women’s Events team to make small but important changes in their treatment of the women they enlist.

This letter from a LifeWay employee is the only written reply I received.

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July 25, 2006

Dear Deborah.

I’m writing to let you know that Amy Cato received the letter you sent expressing your concerns about your involvement with the Oklahoma City Living Proof event. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. The top priority of the women’s event team here at LifeWay is that the attendees be ministered to at events we manage. It is a privilege to serve Beth Moore and the women involved on every level of an event from the local coordination team to attendees in each city.

Time and again we see God, through his infinite, immeasurable power and sovereignty, change and heal women’s lives who attend. Of the thousands of evaluations we receive from women, many say that they received a very specific word from God over the weekend. Oklahoma City was no exception. One Oklahoma City resident stated:

“As I began praying, asking the Lord to prepare my heart to hear from Him at this conference, He placed a great expectancy in me. And WOW! Did He ever come through! As His love fell on us here at the Ford Center, lives were changed, wounds were healed and He was revealed! He is trustworthy.”

We will not know the far-reaching impact of His work at that event this side of heaven. We give God all credit and glory for these types of comments. I hope this will be of some comfort to you in your disappointment. Thank you for your heart for the women of your area and for being part of the local Oklahoma City team.

In Him,
Paige Greene
Director of Women’s Events

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Looking closer

And thus, Paige used her four-paragraph letter like a magician uses a magic wand and the words, “Now you see it. Now you don’t.”

Refusing to address anything I had written, refusing to answer anything I had asked, refusing to mention any of the exploitative and demeaning aspects of Living Proof Live events, she instead announced, “Bless your little heart. God and everybody else sees what we’re doing as 100 percent good. So … poof! The problem does not exist.”

I had rather expected a letter such as this. By the time I received it, I knew: The SBC itself is abusive. I knew it was set on a course its leaders would not change, and I needed to leave.

I did not know that, immediately after receiving the letter, I would be booted out the door.

But I was: Long-term writing assignment cancelled. Book-signing cancelled. My books removed from LifeWay stores. Pastors in SBC churches warned not to let me speak at their women’s events. People in the SBC structure warned not to associate with me at all.

The most insidious abuse –
and often the most devastating –
is wrapped in strong deception posing as God.

Thom Rainer’s reply to my Letter #2

So why did I send Letter #2? Because I still wanted to hear from two people who could have proved me wrong. Because God would not let me let them off the hook.

In my second letter, I identified and documented the ways LifeWay had retaliated after my first letter. I described ways the Living Proof Live team had mistreated my onsite team.

Again I asked Beth Moore: “The women to whom you are ministering are not being well-treated. Will you speak out on our behalf?”

And to Thom Rainer I wrote: “I’m appealing to you, as president of LifeWay, asking that all the issues I’ve described be addressed and made right.”

Here is Thom Rainer’s reply.

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June 7, 2007

Dear Deborah,

I’ve read your letter and attachments and reviewed your concerns with our staff. We constantly evaluate all areas of work, welcome feedback, and look for opportunities to improve.

It is clear that you are dissatisfied with our response to the issues you have raised. Over the years, we have learned that we cannot satisfy everyone. It appears that you will be one whom we will not satisfy with our response. I hope we can, in a Christian spirit, agree to disagree. We do, however, appreciate feedback from all sources, positive and negative. We learn from both kinds.

I do not believe additional action is needed from LifeWay.

May God bless you and your ministry.

In His service,
Thom S. Rainer

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Looking closer

Here we have a very short letter with a lot more doublespeak.

“We … welcome feedback … appreciate feedback … positive and negative.” Not true. The very behaviors that I had named and documented show his words to be false.¹

When the words and the behavior don’t match,
believe the behavior.

“We learn from both kinds.” That’s true, but not the way he intended it. Leaders in abusive systems do learn from feedback that challenges their tactics or their control. They learn where the “threat” lies and how to adjust to eliminate it.

In an abusive system,
any questions, any pleas, that might cause anyone to begin to see through the illusion
are met with swift silencing.

“It is clear that you are dissatisfied with our response to the issues you have raised … It appears that you will be one whom we will not satisfy with our response.”

So what “response” had they made? None. Except to tell me to get lost. And to try to squash me like a bug.

The president of LifeWay did not deny any of the steps LifeWay had taken to silence my voice. He did not name any steps that LifeWay would take to treat women with even a bit more respect. Yet he spoke as if I was the one who should be ashamed.

It is not shameful
not to be “satisfied”
with abuse.

At last, I could see that. So, no, I was not “satisfied” with the callous way the people at LifeWay had treated me and the Christian women who buy their products and participate in their events.

It is good and right
to be displeased
with what highly displeases God.

“I do not believe additional action is needed from LifeWay.” That’s codespeak for:

I, the president of LifeWay Christian Resources, stand behind, and fully affirm, the retaliatory steps taken against you for speaking up. I stand behind, and fully affirm, the policies you spoke out against: that is, our shoddy and demeaning treatment of women, and in particular, of local women leaders who help coordinate Beth Moore events. I am confident I can take this stand without facing any repercussions whatsoever.

“May God bless you and your ministry. In His service, Thom S. Rainer.” And there you have it: a master of misdirection at work.    

Thom Rainer, God has taken note of all the times and all the ways you have used his Name to maintain your own power and protect your own image and to validate what profoundly misrepresents HIM.

Official LPM reply to my Letter #2

A month after I received Thom Rainer’s letter, I received the letter below, from Sabrina Moore, Director of Beth Moore’s ministry, which is named Living Proof Ministries.

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July 10, 2007

Dear Deborah,

I am writing to confirm receipt of your letter. I sincerely apologize for the frustrating challenges and disappointments.

While I certainly have no authorization to answer for LifeWay, I do want you to know they updated me just before I received your first letter dated July 14, 2006. I realize the LifeWay team and yourself have sincere hearts to glorify God. All of this is so very out of the ordinary. Because your letter addresses more areas than I directly oversee I cannot provide you explanations at this time, other than on one point first mentioned in your original correspondence. This one point was expressed under the section noted as: Prayer.

I do want to make you aware LifeWay was not authorized to release public information concerning Beth’s health matters. That is why the e-newsletter disclosing this information was sent out directly from Beth. I hope you understand, they can not share what they do not know or what they are not authorized to share.²

Regarding the prayer time with Beth and the praise team. Truly, this is not a matter of keeping anyone out, not a matter of trust. It is simple [sic] a matter of a ministry team praying together before they minister. Just as the product team would pray together before they begin to minister, or the greeting team for [sic] they begin a ministry of greeting. Please forgive us and please know your labor is priceless – we pray for God to lavish you with His satisfaction, His truth and His love. Our prayers are to serve as He leads, to bring glory to His Name – to share Jesus and see people walking in Victory.³

In reading your letters is [sic] seems very obvious that you have definite leadership skills. As the Director of LPM I get very excited to see the body of Christ serve together in unity, and I have great respect for each portion of the team and the leadership demonstrated. Very simply, your leadership ideas are very good and I believe they could work great for a gathering, as God leads. However, that is not the current God-given design we have been given. Please pray that we always follow Him.

• I am very interested to understand exactly what cost was incurred without reimbursement. For the purpose of addressing this area, your help in providing an expense list is greatly appreciated.
• Regarding Tickets – my understanding is all LPL volunteers received tickets to the conference. Please elaborate about your statement that the core local event team members had to pay.⁴
• Regarding your estimation for the tickets sales generating “roughly $700,000” – LifeWay is sponsor of the event, which means they are responsible for everything A to Z, all logistics, expenses. I do know they incur large expenses in many capacities. As for Beth’s payment. She is not paid at all for the event. There is a flat fee that is paid to LPM (Texas Non-Profit Corp.)⁵
• “the women to whom you are ministering are not being well-treated” – this is HUGE Be assured, I will be addressing your letter.

Again, I would like to have your expense list before I initiate any contact.

Thank you for your concerns and the time taken to express these. Deborah, I write this letter with a prayer that it brings you peace, from Him.

The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

Sabrina Moore
Director, Living Proof Ministries

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Looking closer

Same song, third verse.

In fact, this might be a good time to pause and take a breath, especially if you’ve ever been told by someone using God to gut you: “I hope this brings you peace.”

With a few deft phrases, Sabrina denies having any “authority” to deal with issues directly related to Beth Moore’s events. Rather, she passes the buck to LifeWay.

So to be clear: The director of Beth Moore’s ministry answers a letter written to Beth Moore. Speaking on behalf of Beth Moore, but deftly leaving Beth Moore herself out of the picture, she leads us to believe that Beth Moore cannot do one thing to change the way the women who work for her events are treated.

Also, she uses a lot of words to say: Please forgive us – though we did nothing wrong.

Later in the letter, Sabrina passes the buck to God. Speaking of the “design” I suggested in my letters – that Beth find ways to honor and affirm women, instead of continuing practices that demean and disdain – Sabrina writes: “This is not the current God-given design we have been given.”

She couches this stunning remark in the middle of a paragraph that seems to praise me and to want the things of God. But if you set what she said next to what I witnessed and experienced – and what no one at LifeWay or LPM showed the least interest to change:

The woman speaking for Beth Moore echoed
what Southern Baptists have always said –
“Treating women with common decency
and appropriate honor
is not God’s design.”

Near the end, she includes this quote from my letter, “the women to whom you are ministering are not being well-treated” – and then she responds: “this is HUGE. Be assured, I will be addressing your letter.”

So which is it, Sabrina? Which is it, Beth? Is the mistreatment of women who participate in your events HUGE and awful? Or LifeWay’s problem? Or God’s will?

OR, might this pattern of abusive behavior be your responsibility, that at best you are passively complicit in and choosing to ignore?

The rest of the letter is also smoke and mirrors. Except that it told me what I had not previously known: The second letter I sent to Beth Moore – as well as the first one sent 10 months earlier – had arrived when I sent them, and had been read by the director of her ministry.

Whether Beth Moore chose to read them herself I still do not know. And it does not matter.

Choosing to ignore what is your responsibility
does not absolve you of that responsibility.

The response of not responding

Ultimately, I sent Beth Moore a third letter, asking her very briefly, one last time, to answer me herself.

For a third time, she stayed silent. Hidden.

Beth Moore has proved to be a master at staying hidden, while enjoying the celebrity status, the wealth, the protection and, yes, the power, that LifeWay has afforded her.⁶

Was she herself ever threatened or mistreated? Absolutely. Though it typically happened as a direct result of her celebrity, did she use some of those occasions to make herself seem “one of us”? I’d suggest yes.

Was she protected as only the celebrities in an abusive system can be? Until quite recently, yes.

Twenty years ago, the ordained male Southern Baptist ministers with whom I worked talked about the fact that Beth Moore preached. They all recognized it, and they recognized that the SBC had officially decided to let it pass.

Yes, some hotheads recently made a stink. But for two decades, Beth Moore agreed to let the SBC make her an “exception,” rather than acknowledge that the “rule” isn’t God’s.

She continued in other ways, too, to ignore the reality of the Christian women not in the bubble, including the women whose trust in her, and adoration of her, got her and kept her where she was.

And then, she took a stance that LifeWay could not, or would not, protect. And the profitability of her relationship with LifeWay plummeted. And she left the SBC.⁷

But walking away from one abusive system may or may not be a step toward breaking free. And thus far, I’d suggest, Beth Moore has sought to maintain her celebrity every step of the way.

You may disagree. We may hope for real change.

Just be aware that, for a very long time, the appearance and the reality have not matched.

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A few edits to my comments in this post were made November 9, 2023.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

The rest of the story of my years inside the SBC

• Behind the façade in the SBC
• Behind the scenes at Living Proof Live
• Dear Beth Moore and LifeWay: My plea

See also

• Illusionists! The abusers we have not seen
• Masters of misdirection
• Celebrity culture in the church
• Shunning in the church
• Bullying in the church
• Resented without a cause
• This “good Christian girl” is a woman now
• Exploited in the church, I’m Leah no more

Footnotes

1. See Letter #2 in Dear Beth Moore and LifeWay: My plea. ↩︎
2. Here, Sabrina refers to an example I gave in Letter #1, of local LPL leaders not being trusted. She picks up on the unfortunate way I worded that example, while ignoring the point of the entire letter. Repeatedly, I had asked Beth Moore (not LifeWay) for a “heart exchange” with local leaders that included pertinent prayer requests. So Sabrina actually underscored my point: If Beth was sending out an e-newsletter with prayer requests, why not also send it to us? ↩︎
3. Again, not a matter of trust? This paragraph is a study in doublespeak. See the post, Behind the scenes at Living Proof Live. And again, may I point you to Recovering and treasuring the forgotten prayer. ↩︎
4. In other words: “Now let’s see if I can get you to chase some rabbits. To start, please itemize all the expenses your team incurred, that we told you it would be useless to keep a record of, and that you are not asking reimbursement for. And please elaborate on something you have already clearly explained.” ↩︎
5. Misleading, perhaps? In March 2021, Religion News Service reported: “From 2001 to 2016, Moore’s Living Proof Ministries ran six-figure surpluses, building its assets from about a million dollars in 2001 to just under $15 million by April 2016, according to reports filed with the Internal Revenue Service.” – “Bible teacher Beth Moore, splitting with Lifeway, says, ‘I am no longer a Southern Baptist,’” Bob Smietana, RNS ↩︎
6. Staying hidden is far different from protecting one’s privacy. ↩︎
7. Also from the RNS article: “When Moore spoke out about Trump, the pushback was fierce. Book sales plummeted as did ticket sales to her events. Her criticism of Trump was seen as an act of betrayal. From fiscal 2017 to fiscal 2019, Living Proof lost more than $1.8 million.” ↩︎